My Personal Story,
A Story of Struggle, and Success.

About 5 years ago life seemed to be great. I was working full time and raising my two daughters and was a pretty happy go lucky kind of person. I didn't really have too much to stress about or so I thought. It started with my heart racing fast and my chest began to hurt and I was getting head aches more frequently. I was going through a bottle of advil in a week. My anxiety attacks became so severe that I became light headed and got nose bleeds with almost every anxiety attack. My nightmares caused me to believe that I was dying. I was visiting my local hospital emergency centre between 2 to 3 times a week. I had cat scans, blood work, mri's, ultra sounds and ex-rays, you name it I had it done because I was convinced that I was going to die. Just by watching the news and listening to them talk about cancer I would go into a panic attack and have to go to the hospital and get checked because I thought that I was going to die of cancer. I remember begin at work listening to a co worker talking about when her father had past away then within seconds I was in a full blown anxiety attack. I called my mom at 2:30 in the morning to come watch my kids because I had awakened to a panic attack. This was the scariest time of my life. I remember one of the doctors from the emergency ask me if I was stressed and told me that he thought that I was suffering from anxiety attacks. I just fluffed it off and made an appointment to see my family doctor. My doctor wrote me a prescription for anxiety medication, I didn't bother taking it because I thought that I could handle it on my own. That was a mistake. My anxiety attacks continued for about 6 to 8 months, I honestly thought that I was going crazy. I couldn't sleep, eat, I was crying all the time for no reason, my bowels were all messed up and I started to throw up after I ate. Sometimes I had to force myself to eat. I made another appointment with my doctor. I remember walking into the room and sitting down and feeling like I wasn't even human. My doctor looked at me and I will never forget what he said. He said to me "If you don't pull it together you might loose your children". I dont really remember if it was those words excactly, but it was pretty darn close. I took the message for what it was. At that point all I could say was "Ok". I made the decision right then and there that I was not going to lose my children and I wasn't going to let whatever was stressing me and causing me anxiety attacks beat me. I didn't take any anxiety medication. When I would have an anxiety attack all I would do was call my mom and talk to her until I would calm down. I never really confessed to my mom what my actual problem was, all I told her was that I needed someone to talk to. Unknown to me then I was actually doing cognitive therapy on myself. Talking to myself trying to change my thought patterns and behaviour patterns. I still do it today. I ask this question to those who are reading this. "Do crazy people really exist? Or is it that we are sane individuals who fight to stay away from a crazy existence?". This is the short version of my story. I am sure that all of you who read this story and can fill in the blanks. Its pretty straight forward. Still today I struggle, but not to the extent that I was five years ago. I really must thank my mother first off, but most importantly I have to thank my doctor for prescribing me the best medication of all. He prescribed me with a natural dose of reality. I have my good days and bad days, but don we all?. Anxiety, stress and depression affect all of us. If I have learned anything from my experience with anxiety, it is that I have nothing to gain from anxiety and stress, but I do have a lot to lose. I refuse to let anxiet and stress take over my life and cause me lose the two most important things in my life, those being my children. My children are my angels, my saving grace, and my faith.